End of The Month #3

This has been a very stressful month for me and my life. I don't have anyone to share my problems with except in this blog only. My parents keeps on pressuring and bugging me what to do in my career, even though they don't tell me anything, I can see it clearly in their eyes. My girlfriend and I always had misunderstanding on simple things but even the simple things could lead to a greater wrath in the end. I really don't know what my priority number in her life because I feel that I am less important to her right now. Oh well, I couldn't help it if she felt that way to me. I just hope that she still loves me. Ooohh Boy.. Problems just keep on rising on and on and on...

All I could do is to let it all out in this blog since I don' have anyone, my best friend is always busy but I know he is not, my friends are here and there on other places, also thinking what to do with their life, so I could not bother them that much..
I just hope that my random rantings will not affect the theme of my blog ^_^...lols

So anyways, even with all the downside, there are always what we call enlightenment which is very strong and very solid within us. I think it is some kind of like a trigger which will be opened once we run out of fuel and just want to run away from all our problems in our life. My enlightenment made me stronger but my trust to the people around me has been lessened. I know that only a selected persons can be close to your life but I didn't expect that the one closest to you could betray you. It's not that complicated of a problem actually but as I said, even the simple of the simplest could greatly affect your own self...

Life as we know is very unpredictable. We don't know when the fire within us will be gone. That is why we have to live life to the fullest without any regrets, but sadly, there will always be regrets.
There will always be thorns on our path, pain that we couldn't imagine, problems that we have yet to face. I just hope that I could survive all these problems that is being bombarded to me..

Just another random rant from me ^_^ - Loveless

And here's another picture to tackle on...

~My Ideal girl, I really hope she is real ^_^~

Tranquility

Did it ever cross your mind the meaning of peace and happiness?
The serenity of life?..
The flowing of unlimited love?..

I guess life is all about finding yourself, your own happiness and to the people around you. All about creating multiple opportunities and challenges that you must face head on in order to get the desires that you ever wanted in life, without these elements, life as we know could be as simple as we think it is..

Tranquility is such a strong word for us to discover but easy to understand. I never dream of anything big in my life, just simple things, but I know that even the most simple things in life could be more complicated than you can ever imagine. That is why we have to strive harder to get the tranquility that we seek..

Life is really is finding about yourself but the more you realize about your true self, the more broader your life becomes, the unlimited choices and decisions we make could affect our way of living life to its fullest. The more you realize that what you've done in your life is still not enough, the more the reason why we desire for more..



Why can't anyone find peace in their heart.
They only found temporary peace but not eternal..



Hmmmmmm Just a thought to share...

"My life was dead before I met you.."

"My life was dead before I met you.."

I was strolling near at the darkened sea of Saturday night

Waiting for something to answer what I seek

Waiting for something to appear before me

I know that something might happen right in front of me

But I was unsure..

I feel so afraid..

I feel so lonely..

And worst of all..

I feel so empty deep inside..

I glanced through the dark starry skies that night

And then I realized..

I was not alone that night..

I walked for a while in deep thoughts

Still staring blankly at the open sea..

As if searching for something that wasn't even there..

And as I walked further ahead..

I didn't even realize that 

The one I'm searching for is there..

I stopped and sat at the cold sands of the beach

And you were there

Lying on my shoulders..

You were there

Smiling at me..

You were there..

Looking at me straight in the eyes

You were there..

Just a second away from me..

Princess of Light

~You are my light~


As I glance through the windows of my room to watch the outside world, I look upon the darkness of the sky to find the traces of the moon, but I found nothing. The moon is simply covered by dozens of clouds. 

There's not a glimpse of light..
Not a glimpse of hope through the darkness of the night..
Days... Months... Years has passed by, and still I haven't seen the brightness of the moon..


I waited..
Until the right moment that I've been waiting for has come to light

In the vast ambiance of the skies, I saw a lady clothed with silver glittering armor, hair dyed with a color of gold, eyes with a color of the sea, rushing towards me, riding a white mythical creature with white wings called a Pegasus.


She rides straight on the road of red roses towards the windows of my room. I am blinded by the radiance that she has when she stepped down and stands graciously before me and smiled that gave warmth all over my body. 

I am petrified by her beauty. I slowly walked towards her, took her hand and kissed her.


"You are indeed the princess of light"

The Colors

( This is purely based on my opinion ^_^)

Have you ever thought about the meaning of different colors of life?..
These are the meanings I thought about in a Loveless way..


White- Color of Loneliness
Gold- Color of Emptiness
Blue- Color of Depression
Green- Color of Impurities
Red- Color of Pain
Orange- Color of Betrayal
Yellow- Color Deciet
Silver- Color of Despair
Gray- Color of Coldness


All these colors amounts to the color black because of the fact that the color of being empty is even worse than the color of death itself...

Early Friday Morning...

Another random thought from me ^_^...

I woke up 5am early this friday morning because I thought I have something big to finish, something that could change my life forever but I realize it was only just a dream...lols.
.
I washed my face, did my morning rituals but still sleepy after all that, so I lied down again to sleep but I could not sleep anymore, so here I am writing some random post in my blog..

So anyways, there's not much to do this day except to wait for an important email from my girlfriend since she is already starting her career as a nurse but on the other hand, I am still here doing nothing..toinkz.. what a bum life I have right now ^_^..

I know I've written something new for my blog since all my previous posts talked about love, about loveless, quotes, poems but hey, my blog really talks about life.
Well life in my opinion of course since we all have our different perspective when it comes to the generalization of life. I hope you all appreciate my blog, never mind the grammar and the English (haha). I'll try to improve my writing skills eventually.

So here's a little something for all of you cloud lovers out there..^_^. I took this picture last 5 months ago at the rooftop of my house.

It's more of like someone's hands stretching out for something hmmmm... what do you all think?

Quote From Loveless

"I was wrong, you were right"
"I was naive to think for an easy way"
"I was a fool for believing but you are worth it"

Every time these lines crossed my mind, I end up in the crossroads of my life..
I hope and keep on hoping for everything to be okay
but in the end,

Hope left me hanging at the edge of a cliff..

Every single persons I met in my life told me that


"Only a fool would try to cling with false hope"
"Only a fool would try everything for a false dream"
"Only a fool would keep on believing that everything else is fine"

Cupid asked me:..

"Would you try to be that fool?"


~I would rather be that fool who loves her,
cared for her,
be with her for eternity,
to die beside her,
than a fool who never tried anything from the very start~

"I can't promise anything because sometimes promises are made to be broken,
instead, I asked her,
if she would be willing to stay by me..."

A Fool and a Lover

~A Fool Or A Lover~

~I was strolling near a snow colored gate where I saw a little boy holding a piece of note in his hand, I asked him..

"What are you doing here in this cold shivering night all alone?"

He looked up to me and replied..

"I'm waiting for someone.."

I asked him again..

"What are you holding in your hand?, Is that something worth waiting for the whole cold night?"

He answered in a soft tone voice..

"Yes."

Out of curiosity, I asked him if he would let me show what he was holding in his hand..
And he gave me the note with his head faced down..

I read his note and suddenly, tears started pouring down from my eyes..

I looked at him and asked him..

"How long are you going to wait?"

He answered finally with a smiling face and a joyful voice..

"For as long as I can because if I leave right now, she would never know what I wrote in this special letter"

"Even if it takes you forever?"

"Yes, as long as I have her angelic image in my memory.."

I walked away after my conversation with that mysterious boy, I looked up above and whispered to myself..
"Can he really wait forever for someone who doesn't even care for him?. He is just fooling himself if he thinks that he could win over the fate that has been given to him, but then again he is a fool because he knows what true love is..

Life? Change? Jokes?....

~The New Beginning~

Love is such a mysterious feeling..

You really thought that everything is in place, no lies, no regrets, just pure happiness..
One moment you are really sure of the feelings you keep on holding. You confirmed it, you tried to bind it...

And another moment, you are completely blinded and just in a blink of an eye, you loose everything you worked for..

And you asked yourself "Why?"

Why is it there is no such thing as eternal love or happiness?..
and all of the sudden, there is a deep small voice whispering to you...

"Do not worry..
Even if your mind had been filled with nothing except the touch of love that you had lost, your heart will still be the same no matter what, because since ancient times, the myth, fairy tales, folk old stories, it's always been the heart whose doing all the right and the wrong things in life..


Even if you lost some of your memories in your mind, your heart will still beat the same rhythm as it was before..


Even if you can't feel the same sensation that you felt the first time you were in love, your heart will still feel the same feeling over and over until its last pump.."

Windows Of Our Soul

Have you ever ever wondered why we can't see the other side of our life?. . .
What's the shape of our soul?. . .
What color does it reflects?. . .
What tremendous power does it possess?. . .

Somehow, we never seem to stop thinking about all this questions going on in our head. We tried to think logically and rationally, but we can never achieve the answer we seek, instead of deriving into a conclusion, we ask for more of it.

We yearn for the impossible, we want to taste life in a different prospective, but the question lies beneath our soul. We can never comprehend the mystery about our soul.
A question that is misleading us astray from our path. Leaving nothing behind without a trace but still can be track so easily.

What is it about our soul anyway?..
As you peek through the window, you can see a form, an aura emitting an enormous yet gentle presence. Therefore, we can only think of one thing..

It is always within us, in ourselves, in the life which we decided from the very start...