Heartless: Sleepness Nights (8)

Sleepness Nights

It's been a week long since my tasteless slumber

I've tried everything I could to reach you

But still

You are so far away

I have mustered every ounce of strength I have 

To climb the walls around me

I have forgotten what is like to dream of you again

Here I am

Hoping that I will be free 

From your curse

From the chain that binds my feet

From the nightmare that you keep on engraving inside my mind

"What is it that you want from me?"

I asked in my pool of memories...

"I want to be free"

Heartless ~Night 7~

How many months has it been since you last talked to me 

With all of your heart and sincerity

You despise me 

Yet you still held me 

as if it we are the only persons left in the whole world

So what now, I asked you..

But no words came out from you..

As we continued the night. .

Silence dug deeper in our memory

Sad feeling but the air is not suffocating between us

Rather, it seems like a blissful and warm feeling

I wondered why I feel this way

So once again

I tried to reach with you 

Only that, I did not use any words or gestures

I just simply looked you in the eyes 

And a flash of images suddenly appeared in my memory

I then came up with a realization

No words can weigh much more 

than a simple picture of you standing right in front of me

With all love and sincerity 

With nothing else except a simple look in your eyes...

Heartless Night 6

As I dream of you tonight

Believing that you still love me for the way I am

As I glance through the window of the night

I see you crying

Tears falling like raindrops down to your pale lips

And it pains me to think that I am the one who hurt you

I can never forgive myself for the sufferings that I gave to you

 That's why I ask of you tonight

Spread my hands to reach you

Ask you..

"Do you still believe in dreams and fairy tales?"

But you never spoke a word nor answered my question

Instead..

You smiled at me..

Looked at me directly in the eyes

And I told myself..

"You are undoubtedly a maiden full of surprises"

Armor of the heart..

Shield my heart from all this pains sufferings, hatred, deceptions

Engrave a steadfast armor to protect my fragility

Lead me to a gate of eternal happiness

free me from all the darkness of this world

The heart is nothing more than a piece from a missing puzzle

waiting for a light to come to complete me,

to break these chains that entangled me,

isolated me from all the light of this world

The heart of a man is nothing without his armor

 That is why, it will continue to wither and decompose 

til nothing is left but an empty shell...

It will continue to struggle and fight it's hardest 

just to see through all this challenges in life

It will continue to fight til the end of time

Until someone will come to take away its nakedness

Clothe it with an armor forged with a hope that will last forever

An armor as thick as a dragon's scales

Hard as any metal

An aura as graceful and elegant than the god of war

The heart of a man will never be complete til that someone comes..

Heartless -=Night 5=-

As I see you in my dreams, always paving a way to reach a certain place..
You are there, trying to tell me a message..
A simple yet complicated kind of message..
I wonder why..


But you always remind me of shooting stars..
Appearing so gallantly, and disappears without a trace...
Like a sound of music trying to whisper through my heart


I ask myself..
"How many nights has it been since you told me you want me by your side?"..
"How many nights has it been since I last saw you hold my hand?"..


I reach to a certain point in my life that I kept on looking for the emptiness that I desire..

 

Will you be willing to wait for me?

Heartless ~=Nightmare=~

I've been wondering why, my dreams were never that happy, enjoyable, instead, it was all horrible, anger and deceit were all I felt in my heart whenever I had dreams about you...

In one nightmare I had, you left me all alone without saying a word, no eye contact, no nothing...
I tried to chase you but you were so far away, my feet cannot move as if it was paralyzed ...
I tried to shout your name but no sound came out from my mouth as if I was mute...
I don't know what to do anymore except to reach out my hand to you as if you were just there an inch away from me...I kept on hoping....

Another dream I had or rather another nightmare about you...
You were with someone else. I was devastated by the sight of you and that other guy your with...
I was just there looking at you straight in the eyes and you were looking back at me as if I was nothing but a worthless trash.. I had nothing else left to do except just to stand there.. It was a painful image left in my memory...

The fact that there were all my dreams.. But I had no control over them..





I still couldn't  have you even if it was just a dream.. A sad thought indeed -_-....

Heartless -Night 4-

I see you again and again

It's like a never ending streams and waves of pictures of you in my mind

You were always there

Watching me as I passed by the scenery where we first met..

I always hear voices

But I know it is yours

Telling me to stay as I am

To love you as I can

To feel you always and always..

Your image in my memory..

Is always there..

In my dreams

The never ending dream of you and me

Together in an open space full of sparkling lights,

A star?..

A wish?...

Or just another dream?..

Heartless ~Night 3~

 

But I never gave up...

Even If I have to clone myself

Even if I have to deny nature and its laws..

I will find her..

I will listen to her voice..

I will feel her warmth one last time...

If only she has the will to try, 

to accept me in her life...

All that matters is the moment and right picture to capture...

Heartless ~Night 2~

When I woke up...
I was trying to think that she was not just a dream but a reality to me...


And so i began to search for her..
Both in fantasy and in reality..
I know my efforts will not be in vain..
I just need to see her one last time...


Let my wish be granted..
So that I will be in eternal slumber..
With no regrets..
Nothing else more...


And so I tried to sleep..
But I cannot...
Maybe because I was afraid that she is in the world of reality and that I will never be able to wake up again..


The risk that i have to take is just too much to bear..

Loveless: Heartless

Heartless ~Night 1~


I sacrificed everything just to be with you..
I rushed to picked you up by the side walk..
Where we met for the very 1st time...
Where our eyes gazed at each other like there's no tomorrow...
As if we've known each other for a very long time...


And so I said..
Will you take my hand?..
Take me forever and be by my side..

Will you be mine forever??


And when you finally open your lips..
And whisper through my ears...


I woke up...
It was only just a dream..