Missing my lover

Missing my lover 

Every moment I spend, 

A day without her by my side is like a having a leech that slowly sips away the blood from my veins

As I turn side to side...

Wandering everywhere to places we used to hang out with

But still I couldn't find her anywhere 

No matter how hard I try to reach out for her in the light

Calling her name as tears reflecting the bitterness of the skies above my never ending sorrows

Time is indeed cruel..

I can only wait and wait for the right moment 

Until the last breathe I could muster

Til the last ounce of strength I have 

And I could finally say to her 

How much I missed her

Her smile...

Her laugh...

Her tears of joy...

Her touch....

Her warmth...

Her happiness....

Her forever image that won't burn out in my mind 

The only one that could bring out the best of me

She alone can bring a thousand tears from my living self of total happiness

I miss her so much..My lover...

Hopeless, Euphoria, Loveless

Credits to the owner of the picture: chrno(minitokyo.net)


 

Love like no other can give

Hoping like there is no tomorrow

Feeling happy all the time

Touching the heavens with your bare hands

Giving it all to the other

Leaving nothing for yourself at all

Looking forward for a brighter future

Hoping that everything will go as planned

Not only for yourself 

But for the both of you

All ends as a happy ending

A fairy tale

A romance like no other

But reality bites you a hundredfold 

Piercing your heart with a thousand lances 

Grasping your heart

Holding it like a crumpled paper

With no escaping the pain

 Embracing it

Regretting every decisions that you made

A shock of vengeance flowing down your spine

Crying with tears filled with darkness

You can't speak your heart anymore

But words begins flowing out 

Losing your mind out 

Giving up hope and all other forms of euphoria

And you begin to think that

The ray of light has left you completely

 You wanted to stand up

But the pain keeps on holding you down

Frustrations...

Disappointments....

Anger....

Insanity....

 "Loveless"

This is not Goodbye..

Many years had passed by

Since the last time I saw your sweet and heartwarming smile

I gave up everything just to see it one last time

I've lost everything, even my dreams

Now here I am again

Crying

Missing you as every second of my time runs out

It's like I'm standing alone

Calling out for you

Wandering why you are not responding to anything I've been saying

I don't know anymore...

It's like I don't have a place in your heart

I asked myself

"Is this goodbye?"

Then suddenly tears run down my face

Tears that are unknown even to myself

You are there

Staring at me with coldness in your eyes

It's striking me with questions

 

"Are you giving up on me?."

"On us?"

"On everything we dreamed for?"

Then all of the sudden

A certain feeling tingling all over my body

Holding my tears back to where it came from

Slowly turning back time 

To where and when we had fall to each others arms

Slowly pacing back in time...

Where we don't even know how to fall in love

 Turning Back little by little..

Until such time 

I was standing under a moonlight

I saw you...

I smiled..

This is not Goodbye...

 

Loveless:Isolation

Isolation

I've pulled myself away from reality

Closed my mind from the world

Pushed others away that hinders my path

Gave up everything just to reach my certain place

A place of where you can't see me anymore

A life of solitude

I did now want this kind of life

But fate made me the person who I am 

I made it through this just to let you know

That I don't want any part of your life

You have to understand 

That some things are not meant to be

Every stories have to end the way you dont want them to be

 

I'm sorry if I have to be this way 

Sorry if you have to go through this pain

But I gave everything away

"So that you won't feel betrayed anymore"

Heartless ~Night 7~

How many months has it been since you last talked to me 

With all of your heart and sincerity

You despise me 

Yet you still held me 

as if it we are the only persons left in the whole world

So what now, I asked you..

But no words came out from you..

As we continued the night. .

Silence dug deeper in our memory

Sad feeling but the air is not suffocating between us

Rather, it seems like a blissful and warm feeling

I wondered why I feel this way

So once again

I tried to reach with you 

Only that, I did not use any words or gestures

I just simply looked you in the eyes 

And a flash of images suddenly appeared in my memory

I then came up with a realization

No words can weigh much more 

than a simple picture of you standing right in front of me

With all love and sincerity 

With nothing else except a simple look in your eyes...

Loveless:Sparks

"I see nothing but sparks in your eyes"

Everyday I thought of giving up for the ones I love

But deep inside of me

You were there

You wont even give me a chance of giving up my dreams

You were always there for me

 Even though I shunned you out of my life..

Still you gave me a reason not to loose hope 

You are my brilliance..

You are my shimmering light

My guide, My way towards a blissful life

I am weak without you

I can never be myself if it wasn't for you..

I see nothing but sparks in your eyes..

That never ending light shinning like a star

Gazing down upon me

As I look up..

I see nothing but you

Your Aura that transcends that of the gods 

 It's like you are my natural guardian angel

My peace, My hope and My love

May you always protect me..

Hearts Day..

         Valentines is just around the corner, some are happy celebrating the hearts day, but others are as bitter as well. Well, not all love is expected to be present on the occasion. As a matter of fact, others may view it as a bitter celebration especially the brokenhearted people. You can't really blame them if they see it that way.

         A lot of couple will be very much happy to spend time together this coming Valentines not because it is obligatory or anything like that, but we have to take in mind the true meaning of Valentines day. It is to strengthen and make the bond between couples much more stronger than they had right now. We have to realize that Valentines is not only a one day celebration, but it is a day to day between couples and partners in life.

 

I'm pretty sure a lot of you lovers out there are going to make great memories on Valentines.. ^_^ My only wish for you folks...

"Love your partner as you love yourself, make a wish together and record a lot of memories as you go along the road to a happy life."       

Armor of the heart..

Shield my heart from all this pains sufferings, hatred, deceptions

Engrave a steadfast armor to protect my fragility

Lead me to a gate of eternal happiness

free me from all the darkness of this world

The heart is nothing more than a piece from a missing puzzle

waiting for a light to come to complete me,

to break these chains that entangled me,

isolated me from all the light of this world

The heart of a man is nothing without his armor

 That is why, it will continue to wither and decompose 

til nothing is left but an empty shell...

It will continue to struggle and fight it's hardest 

just to see through all this challenges in life

It will continue to fight til the end of time

Until someone will come to take away its nakedness

Clothe it with an armor forged with a hope that will last forever

An armor as thick as a dragon's scales

Hard as any metal

An aura as graceful and elegant than the god of war

The heart of a man will never be complete til that someone comes..

Loveless by Rekazan

I just wanted to share this picture made by my best friend for me and my website entitled Loveless... ^_^

You can find some of his works here rekazan.deviantart.com/gallery


Try to read the inscription on the picture.. I'm sure you will really love it. You will really feel his sense of passion towards the people he loved and towards the person he will always remember as his special someone ^_^..

It's all about her...

She said to me that 

She waited for a very long time for me to arrive

But she doesn't know

That I am there just behind her

Silently gazing at her..

She tells me everyday that she loves me..

But I tell her every hour of her infinite and pure beauty

She completes me in every small things..

She gave me a letter,

Inside of it tells our stories together

But she is clueless about a certain memory

That she doesn't remember

Because in fact,

Every time when she falls asleep 

I was there making a story of how she dreams..

I told her she is the only one..

But she told me in return..

That she doesn't believe in fairy tales..

So I told her that..

We are not living in a fairy tale.. 

We are living by our individual chapters of our life..

And the chapter that I am reading today

Is all about you..

She gave me a sudden smile on her face

Almost as if I'm looking at a mirror 

Because I'm smiling back at her

In that moment

It's almost like we are the only ones left.

But I was wrong..

She is the only one left in my mind..

In the end.. 

It was never about me from the start..

It's all about her...

Quietly poetic...

Quietly I sat between the princess and the poor man..

Listening to every conflicts that seems to arise between them..

I gave in..
Hopelessly trying to be a bridge between the two worlds apart

Even if it's just only a moment that they would meet

I know..

The sparks that was once gone will turn back on again.

If only love is fair for both parties..

Cruel as it seems, 

That is the reality that they should face

Royalty versus true love is never an issue 

Cuz if you truly know the person that you want

Nothing can stand between the two of you

So here I am standing near you

Whispering through your ears

Telling...

Hoping...

Praying..

That somehow... Someday..

You will also whisper to my ears..

Saying..

"I miss your voice"...

So I did.. Quietly but full of sincerity

~Gift From My Love~

 

One look in your eyes is all I need

One strand of your hair is all that's needed

And a thousands of unexplained phenomenon 

That's been bugging me 

Every time our paths intertwined...

A key to mend your broken..

A key to open the chambers of your heart

A pendant of everlasting Love...

I got to say that I'm very lucky to receive such gifts from my love. This picture was taken last Feb 14, during valentines day, But I didn't have the luxury to entry it in my blog :P.. 

Time..

I feel so disoriented right now. I didn't even realize that we're already on the month of love.. :)... Hmmm Time really flies so fast when you are enjoying yourself ^_^...

So how's everyone doing right now?.. What are your plans on Valentines day?.. Or do you even have a date on Valentines?.. haha.. People nowadays are crazy over heels on having a date during the season of love... Is it wrong to spend Valentines alone?.. or with family? or with friends? because really, it's just a matter of how you are going to spend the occasion, not on finding a date or anything like that. Cupid will find the way for you, that's for sure.

Love will find you, so don't try to force love, just be patient about it coz you will be surprised what will be in store for you in the future.. hehe just a little random advice from me (loveless) lol...

I shouldn't be giving you advices when the name of my blog is loveless right?.. haha.. well anyways, I hope you all know the true meaning of my blog and meaning behind loveless because it's not about the literal meaning but the truth behind every love stories and chapters of our lives ^_^...

I wish you all the love you will need this month of love...

Happy Monthsary...

HAPPY 13th MONTHSARY 

^_^ to me and my baby ^_^

I don't know if this is by custom or tradition or just plain preferences from each individual, but me and my girlfriend are always celebrating the day she answered to my confession. Currently we are 13 months and I hope that we are still going strong all the way up to the end..

I just wanted to share to you all about how love can really hurt you, trample everything you've been working and sacrificing for.. It will almost diminish each and every single thing that you hold dear in your life. But one things for sure, everything that had been lost to you will be eventually returned to you ten to hundred times fold.

Just like the saying, "no pain, no gain"..

But in love, there is everything, every single experience and scenarios that you will encounter will serve as your shield towards a greater challenge, that is why perseverance, trust and faith are very important... ^_^

Defeat...

I've long known my defeat 

The moment I gaze upon your cold eyes

I tried to touch you 

To feel what it's like to be driven by my own fear of defeat

But you seem so far yet so close..

I tried to pierce through your fragile glass armor 

But the reach of my spear is limited

You are far from my reach

But my defeat was soon foretold 

You reach out to me..

Easily broke the layers of my dragon scale armor

Just by the touch of your soft tender hands

My defeat was certain..

You are there.. 

Still staring at me with your cold eyes

Never wavering presence

Aura that emits instant death

You killed me..

You killed the demon within me

You saved me from my darkness

You gave me peace and hope 

In this never ending despair and misery

You gave me defeat 

To see the true light that's been taken away from me

I've known my defeat..

Since the day you try to hold on to me..

My light...

Nothingness...

         I tried to think that everything is okay, but reality killed me once again. I really thought that I can already grasp the scenario of what might the future be, but in the end... It was all in vain

Avoidance...
Hopelessness..

I was lost amidst an endless desert, engulfed in total darkness..
I was left alone..
Beaten down by my own weaknesses..
Never been able to feel what is like to live life in its fullest form

What did love has ever done to me?..
Why did I change into someone I never even knew I would become?...

I was naive.. I never thought that..
The moment I knew the voice of her heart was the time I will be lost forever in the track of time.

My words has no meaning, no life, that can reach her.. 
There is no such thing as coincidence...Only nothing..

The Peak of Love

It was recently our 1st anniversary together.
I got a lot of things to be prepared of, especially my feelings for her and what I've felt for her for the past 12 months.
I feared that I won't be able to reach out to her..
I was too afraid that I won't be able to touch her heart..

But...
I was wrong..
She was the one who reached onto me..
I was very stupid because I thought I am the only one
Who is always reaching out to her

But here I am..
Completely blinded by my own selfishness.
Here I am,
Standing right in front of her,
Looking at her straight into those gazing eyes..

She gave me strength that guided me for the rest of my years..
She gave me warmth that I never felt before
A feeling worth dying for,
A very mystical, amazing feeling that I could not comprehend by words..
There's no one else like her..


"Yes.."


I say to myself, because of the fact that she is...without a doubt..

"My Only One"

Teardrops on Christmas

Today is Christmas eve..

I know the feeling, that certain feeling..

Where you always try to look around every corners of the streets..

Trying to look for something worthwhile..

I couldn't face the facts that Christmas is already here

But you are not..

Every time I open each and every presents I have..

I think of you..

Each time I pray and forget the thoughts of you..

You stare at me blankly in my open mind..

I don't remember when was the last time we spend Christmas together

But I always remember your smile

Every time you look above the skies 

During the cold nights when we were together..

Christmas may not be as it was before..

But your words will always be with me

Engraved in my heart

"Merry Christmas...My Love"

Darkness..

~A darkened Life~

I'm sorry, but it is really difficult for us to be together..

I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings but this is the best I could think of for the both of us..

I'm sorry... I'm sorry

But I really did love you from the deepest chambers of my heart...

As I walk towards my end, 

completely blinded by the pain that binds me completely..

The pain that is aching inside of me..

As these lines whispers through my ears,

" I'm sorry but I love you"

I want to cry my heart out, 

but tears just won't come out..

I want to stop at the very moment of my life,

but my feelings are too strong to overcome..

I don't want to loose all the hope I can gather,

but the pain is slowly killing me from within..

The moment I stop walking,

will be the very moment that I would stop loving you..

So I walk endlessly,

without thinking anything else, except my love for you..

Even if my feet hurts..

Even if my vision blurs..

Even if my mind has gone empty..
Even if the entire life energy I have has gone away...

I won't stop...

Til Death itself comes to me..

Loveless: Death

End of The Month #5

This post is supposed to be written in the last day of November.. ^_^

Wew... I missed a lot of days thinking a lot of things, plus the hectic schedule I had last month..
Well anyways, last month was pretty much my dying month because of the fact that I had a lot of problems to solve on my own and pretty much how I dodge a huge bullet in front of me.

I had a lot of nightmares during the night and a lot of stressful scenarios during the day. How I withstand it?.. Simple.. I just simply eat, pray a lot and emote? ^_^.. Yes.. I've been very emotional lately, because of the fact that I had a lot of fights and misunderstandings with my girlfriend, I've been pushing myself to things I didn't know and worst part of it.. I loose all the pride that I had in myself and I have to regain it quickly because, well, I know pride is not a good thing but for me it's not completely bad either, it's just a matter of how you use it to yourself and to the people around you...

Even though last month was a very tiring month for me, but still I learned a lot from it.. The mistakes and errors that I have made me realize that some things are not meant to be no matter how much you try and try to gain that certain thing. There are what you call limits, a limit on how you give and gain trust with people, a limit on how you should love and receive love in return but one thing you should not put your limitations on.... The power of prayer and how you believe in your faith with your God.. :) ^_^ (:

Christmas is just right around the corner everyone ^_^ wish you all the best with your life...