A note, a pen and internet

As the days passed by, I am still here waiting for something to happen in my life, something huge that will make my heart jump out to the skies, but it seems that kind of something will not come as long as I stay still.

This is my life, work hard, keep on moving forward and never loose hope even though things are not the way I expected them to be . Well , this is me, desperate always looking for a solution to every wall that I have to break in front of me. I really dont have any other options or a way out except to accept the reality.

 

Sometimes, I asked myself, "what is that certain something that drives people's minds into keep on reaching that something that is not even there or so impossible to get?".. Well, I'm one of those people, call us dreamers, wanderers, sometimes my lack of open mindedness is my greatest weakness because I can't understand simple things yet I tend to rationalize so hard that makes the simpler things more complicated.

Life somehow surprised me yet from the bottom of my heart, I am thankful because experiences can only be learned through risky scenarios in life, that some kind of down the earth events that makes you think, "Am I really alive?", or "Am I just a floating organism observing things"

Questions keep on popping out of my head, (poink , poink, poink)

Loveless: Prayer

Prayer

I am here before you

Asking for your guidance and light

Begging for your mercy and forgiveness

Shield me from evil and darkness

Enforce my armor with your blessings

With my will, might and my whole spirit 

I offer you myself 

Give me strength..

Given all the possibilities and decisions in life
You were always there for me
It is only fair that I must offer myself to you
For all the gifts
The unlimited blessings
The never ending guidance, protection and the strength
That you have given me til the end of my life

I can offer you nothing except my faith, love and my whole life..
 I ask for more
For I am a selfish being
I commit more mistakes
But you always have in your heart to forgive me
For you are merciful and forgiving
You always have it in you to prioritize others rather than yourself
 You accept them wholeheartedly
Even if you know what they are and who they are
You are still willing to bring them in your home

Your are the only one
I will believe in, pray, trust and respect
For you,
I will gladly offer you my life..

"You are the only one"

Heartless: Sleepness Nights (8)

Sleepness Nights

It's been a week long since my tasteless slumber

I've tried everything I could to reach you

But still

You are so far away

I have mustered every ounce of strength I have 

To climb the walls around me

I have forgotten what is like to dream of you again

Here I am

Hoping that I will be free 

From your curse

From the chain that binds my feet

From the nightmare that you keep on engraving inside my mind

"What is it that you want from me?"

I asked in my pool of memories...

"I want to be free"

Loveless:Isolation

Isolation

I've pulled myself away from reality

Closed my mind from the world

Pushed others away that hinders my path

Gave up everything just to reach my certain place

A place of where you can't see me anymore

A life of solitude

I did now want this kind of life

But fate made me the person who I am 

I made it through this just to let you know

That I don't want any part of your life

You have to understand 

That some things are not meant to be

Every stories have to end the way you dont want them to be

 

I'm sorry if I have to be this way 

Sorry if you have to go through this pain

But I gave everything away

"So that you won't feel betrayed anymore"

Heartless ~Night 7~

How many months has it been since you last talked to me 

With all of your heart and sincerity

You despise me 

Yet you still held me 

as if it we are the only persons left in the whole world

So what now, I asked you..

But no words came out from you..

As we continued the night. .

Silence dug deeper in our memory

Sad feeling but the air is not suffocating between us

Rather, it seems like a blissful and warm feeling

I wondered why I feel this way

So once again

I tried to reach with you 

Only that, I did not use any words or gestures

I just simply looked you in the eyes 

And a flash of images suddenly appeared in my memory

I then came up with a realization

No words can weigh much more 

than a simple picture of you standing right in front of me

With all love and sincerity 

With nothing else except a simple look in your eyes...

Loveless:Sparks

"I see nothing but sparks in your eyes"

Everyday I thought of giving up for the ones I love

But deep inside of me

You were there

You wont even give me a chance of giving up my dreams

You were always there for me

 Even though I shunned you out of my life..

Still you gave me a reason not to loose hope 

You are my brilliance..

You are my shimmering light

My guide, My way towards a blissful life

I am weak without you

I can never be myself if it wasn't for you..

I see nothing but sparks in your eyes..

That never ending light shinning like a star

Gazing down upon me

As I look up..

I see nothing but you

Your Aura that transcends that of the gods 

 It's like you are my natural guardian angel

My peace, My hope and My love

May you always protect me..