Timeless..

The thought of being so worthless

At the time you are being needed

But you can't help but think that everything else is gone..

Then you are being left to ponder on a thought in the corner of your mind

Wondering...

If you could stand up once again to the challenges being given to you..

Chances are equal

It only depends on how you use those chances as weapons for battle

A battle you can either lose or win..

 

Only the strongest will survive..

An epic everlasting battle inside of you

Haunting you to the very last bone of your body

Trying and always be trying to get over the problems of life

Time will surely become an obstacle that you can never win

BELIEVE..

Behind every shadow there is something to expect

Beyond the limits and corners of hesitation deep within

And buried into the soul of a reckless heart

Lies a even greater spirit that can only be achieve by a fighter

Strength, power and honor are the words of wisdom to the eyes of a believer

To the eyes of the heart

"Believe in the eyes of the heart, for it will carve a way to the answer you seek"

 

Happy Go Lucky..

Isn't it nice just to sit around all day doing nothing?. ^_^..
Isn't it nice not to worry anything else except what kind of food are you going to eat next?.. lol..
Life is always busy and will always be..
So take time to relax and reflect because it will help you find the answer you seek..

Mothers day...

It's all about her...

She said to me that 

She waited for a very long time for me to arrive

But she doesn't know

That I am there just behind her

Silently gazing at her..

She tells me everyday that she loves me..

But I tell her every hour of her infinite and pure beauty

She completes me in every small things..

She gave me a letter,

Inside of it tells our stories together

But she is clueless about a certain memory

That she doesn't remember

Because in fact,

Every time when she falls asleep 

I was there making a story of how she dreams..

I told her she is the only one..

But she told me in return..

That she doesn't believe in fairy tales..

So I told her that..

We are not living in a fairy tale.. 

We are living by our individual chapters of our life..

And the chapter that I am reading today

Is all about you..

She gave me a sudden smile on her face

Almost as if I'm looking at a mirror 

Because I'm smiling back at her

In that moment

It's almost like we are the only ones left.

But I was wrong..

She is the only one left in my mind..

In the end.. 

It was never about me from the start..

It's all about her...

Passage...

In every direction there is always light..

You just got to find the effort to make through every path of your life..

Greatness is within each and every one of us..

Quietly poetic...

Quietly I sat between the princess and the poor man..

Listening to every conflicts that seems to arise between them..

I gave in..
Hopelessly trying to be a bridge between the two worlds apart

Even if it's just only a moment that they would meet

I know..

The sparks that was once gone will turn back on again.

If only love is fair for both parties..

Cruel as it seems, 

That is the reality that they should face

Royalty versus true love is never an issue 

Cuz if you truly know the person that you want

Nothing can stand between the two of you

So here I am standing near you

Whispering through your ears

Telling...

Hoping...

Praying..

That somehow... Someday..

You will also whisper to my ears..

Saying..

"I miss your voice"...

So I did.. Quietly but full of sincerity

Endless

 

"Life Is Truly Endless"

But live life to its fullest each and everyday 

Because you will never know when life would truly end for you...

Let's all welcome the month of MAY!!  

Defeat...

I've long known my defeat 

The moment I gaze upon your cold eyes

I tried to touch you 

To feel what it's like to be driven by my own fear of defeat

But you seem so far yet so close..

I tried to pierce through your fragile glass armor 

But the reach of my spear is limited

You are far from my reach

But my defeat was soon foretold 

You reach out to me..

Easily broke the layers of my dragon scale armor

Just by the touch of your soft tender hands

My defeat was certain..

You are there.. 

Still staring at me with your cold eyes

Never wavering presence

Aura that emits instant death

You killed me..

You killed the demon within me

You saved me from my darkness

You gave me peace and hope 

In this never ending despair and misery

You gave me defeat 

To see the true light that's been taken away from me

I've known my defeat..

Since the day you try to hold on to me..

My light...

Nothingness...

         I tried to think that everything is okay, but reality killed me once again. I really thought that I can already grasp the scenario of what might the future be, but in the end... It was all in vain

Avoidance...
Hopelessness..

I was lost amidst an endless desert, engulfed in total darkness..
I was left alone..
Beaten down by my own weaknesses..
Never been able to feel what is like to live life in its fullest form

What did love has ever done to me?..
Why did I change into someone I never even knew I would become?...

I was naive.. I never thought that..
The moment I knew the voice of her heart was the time I will be lost forever in the track of time.

My words has no meaning, no life, that can reach her.. 
There is no such thing as coincidence...Only nothing..

The Peak of Love

It was recently our 1st anniversary together.
I got a lot of things to be prepared of, especially my feelings for her and what I've felt for her for the past 12 months.
I feared that I won't be able to reach out to her..
I was too afraid that I won't be able to touch her heart..

But...
I was wrong..
She was the one who reached onto me..
I was very stupid because I thought I am the only one
Who is always reaching out to her

But here I am..
Completely blinded by my own selfishness.
Here I am,
Standing right in front of her,
Looking at her straight into those gazing eyes..

She gave me strength that guided me for the rest of my years..
She gave me warmth that I never felt before
A feeling worth dying for,
A very mystical, amazing feeling that I could not comprehend by words..
There's no one else like her..


"Yes.."


I say to myself, because of the fact that she is...without a doubt..

"My Only One"

Teardrops on Christmas

Today is Christmas eve..

I know the feeling, that certain feeling..

Where you always try to look around every corners of the streets..

Trying to look for something worthwhile..

I couldn't face the facts that Christmas is already here

But you are not..

Every time I open each and every presents I have..

I think of you..

Each time I pray and forget the thoughts of you..

You stare at me blankly in my open mind..

I don't remember when was the last time we spend Christmas together

But I always remember your smile

Every time you look above the skies 

During the cold nights when we were together..

Christmas may not be as it was before..

But your words will always be with me

Engraved in my heart

"Merry Christmas...My Love"

Silent days..

I am here....

Waiting for you

Even if its just a glimpse of you

A message

A sign

A note

 Whatever it is 

As long as it is a part of you

Is it too much to ask?

While your there laughing so happy with him

I am here torturing myself.... 

Over you 

Because you left me here all alone 

With nothing else 

Except pain..

You are walking alongside with him

Holding hands together
His arms wrap around you

Like we used to..

You are taking him to places 

we used to go..

The footprints we left on the beach

The food we used to eat

The places we used to hang out with

You are leaving me out of it...

The memories and dreams we made together

Thrown away like pieces of trash

But here I am

Trying to find those pieces 

Trying to mold them together

To create another dream of us

Still in the end..

It is only me left...

No more you..

Heartless -Night 4-

I see you again and again

It's like a never ending streams and waves of pictures of you in my mind

You were always there

Watching me as I passed by the scenery where we first met..

I always hear voices

But I know it is yours

Telling me to stay as I am

To love you as I can

To feel you always and always..

Your image in my memory..

Is always there..

In my dreams

The never ending dream of you and me

Together in an open space full of sparkling lights,

A star?..

A wish?...

Or just another dream?..

Loveless: Betrayal

So many things left unsaid and done..
So many heartaches and problems yet unsolved
So many disguises and thoughts left hanging on the edge
All of these things, I carry on my shoulders..
But you run away from all of it..

I gave up my heart for you..
But you chose to trash it away like it was nothing...
I gave up my will just to see you smile..
Instead, you pushed me away like I was some dirt in your path
I told you everything that needs to be said..
But you sealed your heart for me not to enter..


What can I do?..
Instead to hope for the best and for the best to come..
My only wish is that..
I am not looking for false dreams
Because I will be devastated by betrayal of those I gave my everything..

I can only hope for an illusion of you by my side..
I can only wish for a delusion that we will be together..
But when I wake up from all of these..
I know what kind of pain will be waiting for me..


Betrayal is one thing..
But living a never ending emptiness is a lot worse than death..

Melancholy

I see nothing in your eyes

Except sadness..

Tears driven from hatred

Eyes full of emptiness

I was shot by a broken arrow 

From somewhere

Hidden amidst 

The serene loneliness of my heart...

Sometimes I wish

That I could be someone else

Someone whom you can pour your heart open

Someone you wont be troubled again and again

But as I stare at you..

I sense a feeling..

A feeling yearning for someone special 

Yet so far..

A desire so strong 

That even denies the laws of nature

I don't know 

If you can still handle

My stupidity and my nonchalant behavior

But all I know

My heart doesn't waver

Only my mind does..

Will you still be willing to accept me?

As I am?

As the person you disgust?

As the guy who betrayed your love?

After all of this..

Will you still be willing?

To be by my side....

Forever?

Time denies my everything 

But you don't

Nature banishes me 

But you, on the hand 

Let me through

Life accepts my death

But you revived me...

A maiden's tears

It was not my full intention to hurt you

Forget you

Confuse you

and most importantly

To give you false hope...

Why can't you understand that I love you so much

Words are not that strong to reach your heart

But neither action can..

It is up to you if you don't believe me

but believe me when I say...

You are the gift of my life

The root of my dreams

The source of my life

You give me peace and tranquility

You give me a reason to live through my life

You love me like no other can give...

I may not be perfect

I can never promise you a lifetime of happiness

But know this...

I am giving everything I can for you to feel 

The love that has been burning deep inside of me

Every second you are not here 

Is like a thousand years has passed by...

I want you by my side

If you want me as well..

I always love you and I always will

Even if you don't love me anymore..

I will always persevere...

My love for you is not that deep

But seriously 

My love for you is endless

Loveless: Afterlife

I'm siting here all alone..... Thinking.....Wondering.......


How my life might end without even a glimpse of happiness around me, without even a spark of brightness in my eyes, without even a hope of love in my heart...


It's depressing to think that all I did was worthless, all my efforts are gone to waste..
To my family...
Friends..
And my love..


All my achievements are gone..
If this was the life that had been given to me..
I would rather be a free spirit that watches the life of others than being alive without any target at all...


My only target is myself..
What would it be like to pull the trigger that will cost you a lifetime of regrets?..


But what regrets will that be if you are dead?...

You tend to end your purpose because of the fact that you have no purpose to begin with..
You changed your target to yourself because you don't have any target at all..
You gave yourself a reason to live because you have no reason at all..


What will it be like in the other side of the world?..
Will you find your happiness? or will you find regrets?...


Left in the middle of nothing except the serenity of darkness...

The Demon Within...

 

In the depth of darkness of the human heart,I dwell

In the wilderness, I lurk into the shadows

I see nothing but pure hatred and despair  in everyone's eyes

I am myself, the true horror of life

"Heaven strike me"

In this empty heart of mine except the scent of blood

Traces of scars in my wounds

The fire burning my soul

 

The greed I quench in thirst for my desires

The wrath that's ripping me apart

The pride I was once so proud of..

Gone in eternal darkness

I was left alone in the corners of hell

The devil that grows within me

The rage that surrounds me

The brilliance of light above me disperse

The aura of hope gave up..

Death is not an option...

A new month... A new reflection to ponder...

I am still at loss of words on what I am going to post on my blog at the start of the month of October. I am what you call in the mode of slump I guess. I've been in a deep thought these past few days because of the fact that nothing really changes at the start of the new month, But then I realize that it is not that there was no change in life. It was because I didn't change anything..

That is why I am here writing all about a new change, a new look, a new adventure, but it is up to you if you like changes. If you are a type of person that easily adjust to changes, then you are very adventurous but if you are a type of person like myself who just wants to stick to the present without changing anything worthy, then it is likely that's because we are the kinds who really wants to tackle things from starting til the end..

Change is really important especially when you are trapped in a corner where you have nothing left except to change into someone better. The only thing that you should be concerned of is the outcome. Always be careful who you want to become in your life...

So, anyways, here's a quote I would like to share with all of you..

Change?...

What's the difference if you change something?..

Will it benefit you? or will it destroy you?..

Will it turn you into someone better?.... or will it turn you into someone much worse?..

People tend to change themselves because of the unsatisfactory feelings of their own personal life, but little that they know that change can sometimes turn you into something indifferent from who you really are..

Maybe into someone you really detest or someone that you possibly regret into changing...

Will you still take the risk?